tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
