the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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