In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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