No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
