So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
