I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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