Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
