i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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