so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
MIDGETS
????
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
