She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize