i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize