Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
