Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
