bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I had to cum in my sink.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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