So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
