Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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