Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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