I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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