if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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