he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize