She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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