It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
