i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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