did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
