Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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