Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
