This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
