wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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