i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just want nice things and good sex
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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