I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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