the day after is always just damage control
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
