I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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