there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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