Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
