very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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