I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
