he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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