We're facebook friends in real life
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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