dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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