Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
