C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
