I want to stick my p in your. b.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
