I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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