I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
