I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize