nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
