now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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