All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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