drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
