I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
