I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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