I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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