Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
