everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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