I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
