Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize