Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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