I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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