Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize