I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
