Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
