so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
