he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
