I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
