I look better un-naked...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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