I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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