So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
