So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
