Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
