Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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