i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
