You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
